I love laundry day. The smell of bleached bed linens, the plethora of clean clothes hanging available in my closet. I love clean.
The only disappointment about laundry day is when you’re done putting all the clothes away and making the bed with the fresh sheets, and all is clean and organized, there’s still something amess. The clothes I’m wearing. Thus, the greatest joy of laundry day is also its greatest disappointment – not all my clothes are clean.
As I sat at the laundromat, trying to distract myself with a Kakuro puzzle, I gave attention to my melancholy mood. And I don’t like melancholy. Yes, I’m a writer, and we writers tend to be glum and low-spirited. But I’m not an old man yet, I don’t have a burning desire to set out on the sea, and I don’t LIKE to be melancholy.
Rather, I’m a fixer. And I believe I have fixed this problem.
The All Naked Laundromat. YES!
Imagine being able to wash ALL of your clothes, to be able to return home and put all your stuff away, and have nary a stitch of dirty clothing. Yes, I believe this idea has legs. Hairy, fleshy, liver-spotted, knobby-kneed legs.
See, most people who go to the laundromat (at least the one I go to), are pretty ugly. So anything they could do to “upgrade” their appearance, including getting naked, would be welcome. And let’s face it, even bad naked is still naked, right?
As great an idea as this is, there are, however, a number of obstacles which must be overcome…
1) Where does a naked man or woman keep all his or her quarters?
2) How does one get from my All Naked Laundromat to his or her car, and then into his or her house without dirtying clothes?
3) Is navel lint flammable? (Those clothes dryers can get right hot.)
4) Does talk of naked allow a writer to use words like “plethora?”
I’m sure there will be more issues to resolve as I press forward with my business plan. But soon you’ll see – a whole chain of All Naked Laundromats across the U.S., Canada and even Mexico. I’ll be rich, rich, RICH! I’ll be wearing the finest clothes. Or NOT wearing the finest clothes.
P.S. When it comes to naked, one should never digress.
August 11, 2008 at 12:08 am |
lol…you crack me up. i suppose that in some nudist colonies…they must have laundromats right? umm…how about wearing disposable clothing?
just think…even when we are dead…we will most likely leave laundry and bills to pay. it never ends.